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she had a lobotomy

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[31 Jul 2003|07:00pm]
i hate this journal & its memories
9 _______

[14 Apr 2003|06:06pm]
new lj:
onspeed_dial
6 _______

i got in a fight: [14 Apr 2003|04:12pm]
[ mood | wanker ]

richard punched me in the mouth & made me bleed;
and i punched him in the jaw and left a huge red mark& pain
me: if i was a guy would i be an asshole
richard: yes
me: if i was a girl would i be an asshole
richard: you are; your a big bitch... not to me; but everyone else

i got home & given news:
a friend that knew me since i was a baby was killed yesterday
he got into a car accident on the free-way
he wasn't wearing a seat belt & was thrown from his car
he was then run over by a car & pronounced dead
the funerals wednesday

3 _______

[13 Apr 2003|08:07pm]
i made a community:
hisheart_attack
join it & love it
if you don't: i'll gut you like a fish
8 _______

talent show '03 [13 Apr 2003|10:08am]
[ mood | cute & cuddly ]

picked up sterling and went to subway_ eat fresh
then off to the school talent show
so good times_ rein of terror MOVAHILL & petey is still a nice young dog
it was so much fun; i got so excited; lotion everywhere!
saw many a lover; im such a player (valerie, casey, paria, caroline... the list goes on)
gary watched me & paria make out
& for those of you that left at intermition:
you missed_: german death metal & BRADLEY!!!
who of course won
i saw mike nader! i always have to use a !!! for him
it started raining so me and sterling went home
& cuddled watching he man show;
sterling can always get me out of my moods; hes good like that
i left & hydroplaned all the way home

my black shirt turned my body colors & my belt & my watch
my mother is MAKING me go to CHURCH!!!


ps.
i didn't cut my hair

16 _______

blue eye shadow [12 Apr 2003|01:49pm]
[ mood | left out & bitchy ]

i woke up early to get to SAT class
& text alex with RAPE ME
drove all over the fucking valley;
forced to leave sterlings_
& all i want to do is go to sleep
or do something with SOMEONE!!!
i'm constantly doing things alone:
& it sucks:
i have NO friends & NO money
a great combination


because its so easy to be a loser
42 _______

because i can! [11 Apr 2003|03:46pm]
[ mood | oh thats cute ]

my D block class came in 2nd for raising money for the leukemia girl survival thing: "if she dies; do we get our money back?" we are so going to win the prize; NEVER ENDING PASTA BOWL HERE I COME!!!
i actually had a good day:
i have an A in peer
i have an A in lit + we watched le mis
sat outside with tim at lunch & richard joined & yelled with ayla
gin n juiced it in anatomy with snoop dogg & told racial jokes

i cut my bangs last night& now they're just the right size to get in my eyes
im melting butter over the lamp in the computer room; shows how lazy i really am.

i hate sketchy plans!!! im still uncertain of the nights outcome. the rec center is my best bet because i have NO ONE THAT WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH ME!!!
im the number whore
i've got everyones digits
i got 4 ### today!!!
PLAYA WHA!

17 _______

a case of the thursdays [10 Apr 2003|03:42pm]
[ mood | BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!! ]

i didn't even blow dry my hair this morning!!!
i got to school & me and richard bumped bone thugs & i danced on the top of my car & way too many people saw that.
school is gay & last period was odd beacuse we're watching "behind the scenes of star wars" & half way through the movie our teacher gets hungry so we go to lunch early & get food. and realized my forearms are peeling
people actually owe ME money for once!!! 3 $$$s to be exact!
afterschool: bumbed again & danced on my car again & kellie jumped on my car; tackeling me & we both slide off being burnt by hot metal & me and shannonnonon booty dance like no other hoe.
richard jumped in & we had a near death expericence
i slammed on the breaks going at 60 and turned my wheel; but we went no where until we semi stopped and semi fishtailed into a side street; it was kinda cool.
got to desination:tower; latin lover had my cd & totally knew who i was. saw miss festa & she scared the fuck out of me with her man voice & nylon disappointed me this time so i didn't purchase it; took richard back to school; left; i will never take the TAFT way home again!!!



so i don't really like how she gets to see him more than me
goes home with him every day & stays at his house late
and i get an hour+ on the phone &
5 minute visiting hours on the weekend
its not fair and i don't like you!
it sucks & i dislike you for it
find a new partner!!!

34 _______

blue eyes; black heart [09 Apr 2003|04:24pm]
[ mood | nothing so teenage & desperate ]

today was a terrible day
i was horribly sad & for the majority: alone
& the giving tree made me cry for the first time
i went to the gym to induce endorphins;
but they were all out

thank you brooke for being stubborn/bitchy
& born
my god given gift:
the ability to make people around me hate me and push me away
maybe for a reason i do not know
i should migrate north for the summer

13 _______

HIDEOUS HUMAN BEAUTY & I HATE IT ALLHIDEOUS [08 Apr 2003|02:00pm]
[ mood | WHAT FUCKING EVER ]

WAS IT NATIONAL ASSHOLE DAY AND SOMEONE FORGOT TO SEND ME THE MEMO?


LOVE IT OR FUCKING LEAVE IT

i love females! [07 Apr 2003|01:54pm]
[ mood | greasy! ]

being unprepared is the worst thing you can do to yourself
that or overdosing on meth
i got home early because i have to go to the DOCTOR DOCTORS!!!
sat down with a can of pringles
& let me tell you
i poped & i droped
pringles everywhere & they ARE TOO GREASY!
so im just going to eat them off of the floor

7 _______

do do do do do do do do doooo (those are all different notes; but look the same) [06 Apr 2003|08:34pm]
[ mood | leather bands ]

today i went shopping & again im poor & i didn't even have that much $$$ (blang blang) to begin with. i got 3 shirts, new undies & booty shorts that will not be wore outside that are pink with lace & black polka dots. went to sterlings to show off my finds & i miss him & its because we're white

now im at home and im bored & its really sad when it comes down to your own mother stalking you & going through all your things just to find something to get you introuble; bending my circle into a box as much as she can to get her way.


they want you or they don't
16 _______

oh baby you want me? cuz you can get this lap dance here fo free [05 Apr 2003|09:30pm]
[ mood | happy ]

THIS MORNING/DAY EVENTS: from 9 am to 1230 pm i was held captive at CSUN for SAT training; & my SAT tranining teacher is literally gay & when he does something wrong he smacks his cheak and puts his hands on his hips; and his name is mr.kelly. then i went to semi to pick up bernard (car) & i am now the owner of the tytest system; well; at least i think; the screen is like watching a repetitive movie. and then arriving at derek's with much deliberation & effort; i pull up & they can hear me from inside. band practice: open mic= brooke time to shine & me and tona are so co. duets. chocolate/whipped cream; cold pizza; hairy asses & lots of screaming. tona gave me my birthday gift: random stickers; a cereal box stop watch & my fav!!! 2 PAC SHAKERS LICENCE; TO KILL! richard gave me a white cuff & sweated/streched it out for me. so much of me having a good time. me and tina started to my house & i stopped at verizon to get a new entena & the guy hit on me. & me and tina HAD to go home...

THIS EVENINGS EVENTS: walking to my house: i get mugged; my head slamed into the gate & sweat shirt over my face/head; my ankel stepped on & shoved into a car with irradic drivin. sterling; richard; tona; & tina kidnapped me!!! for my birthday; again. i had to do so much walking & SOMEONE ran me into a curb & i got angry! & people staring. went to nathans & i got a horse shoe for the tummy & then "blind folded" again & went to chuck E. cheeses!!!! you know you have to be with someone 18 to get in?! so tona grabbed an old guy & he said we were with him. CHUCK E. CHESSES FUCKING ROCKS! its sad: but me and tina combined only had 101 tickets & so we got LICK-A-DICK & body glitter. it was so much fun; i don't care if most of it didn't work out; it was great.

i bite my nails too much;
so sterling is cute & tries to regulate
but it doesn't matter; they're still nubs
i love him even when he runs me into things

i want to join the brooke obsession club
where the fuck do i sign up?

7 _______

love love love and then you die [04 Apr 2003|02:35pm]
today sucked myah bawlls
even though i watched "who framed rodger rabbit" in film
i watched that movie every day when i was a kid; i love it
left school early & i'm going to get my blood drawn
my blood is so dark & pretty
going to a play with sterling tonight
i have to drop my car off in semi:
the honda's getting a ghetto ride;
system wha?
animated face plate wha?
3 _______

happy unbirthday pooty pooty [03 Apr 2003|08:49pm]
[ mood | up & down & now crying ]

richard made me a nice card for my birthday & it had pictures of me & him as a little boy on it. sterling gave me my gift(fig 1). after school: took sterling home & played guitar & burrowed neck style & wrestled & shower time. then we went to PF changs for dinner & ate until our tummies were big and round and then went to 818 frieght to look at dresses and jeans. went to the mailbox and opened up letters with cash/check payable to me & walked into the house with one light on & a letter on the ground; my gift was the same as sterlngs and my moms asleep in her room with no happy birthday from the one that gave me life. she has just ruined my birthday; & it was going so well for once.


FIG.1:

41 _______

i want you to always be like this: [02 Apr 2003|08:37pm]
he bought me a ghetto funk balloon to make me laugh & 17 yellow tulips carefully orcestrated in brown paper and red ribbon
he took me out to dinner & we talked throught 2 hours
3 entres/servings & lemon drizzled cookies with candles in them
we made fun of people & laughed at their expence
got the rest in take out & broke down the makings of an after dinner mint
he played metalcore in the car & i love him:
because hes my dad & today he was nice

SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE [02 Apr 2003|02:32pm]
[ mood | RAPTURE!!! ]

so much of me not doing my homework that i've let pile up & leave half done/incomplete/blank.i haven't done any homework_ _ _ _
REASON 1: printers broken
REASON 2: im lazy & would rather make paper pretty

last night i made richard & sterling a card_ i was bored & feeling artistic
right on late schedual for math; read my nylon in religion & got in trouble in film
drove home with my mind wondering & passed my house & not paying attention to where i was going/direction/destination

i got in a fight with my mom this morning:
& she tried to blame everything on me_ like always
so i told her "yous hould have kept my fat ass 8 pounds of flesh in her vagina and hoped i died of suffication; its your fault im here, for not keeping your legs closed & i hate you for giving me life; at least you don't have to ruin my life i have while i've got it."
all i asked for was money for clothes_
& then she blamed it on my father

my middle name is always

8 _______

April 23, 1992 [01 Apr 2003|03:18pm]
[ mood | you need to realize FG.1&4: ]

thank fucking god my old history teacher is back: grades go up, did noting in class & i was even late and didn't have to get a slip. test in anatomy_ didn't study(-)& then a text message battle with todd. gary & i were partners in peer & it was suppost to be a group of 3, but no one likes us_ he cut me off and i was an agressive motorist & ate strawbarries/ blue barries with brown sugar that deanna gave me_in exchange for sex_ & made sugar apples for gary&jason. i told cameron to hold my $$$ (blang blang) for me so i wouldn't spend it, but i made him give it back, even under my strict directions to not do so. i have a problem with spending money. so at lunch: me and richard had 7 fucking $$$ & we were like little girls excited for disneyland that can't go to sleep because they're so excited. its funny how every lit class i get moved to a new seat; for doing nothing & erich stapled himself in the leg 4 times



REALIZATION PRD.:
im sorry; but you don't talk to me like that
no matter what
some mood swings can/can't be helped;
it only happens because of my environment


TWIST_& PULL TO REM. CAP:
evil ninja's insult of the day: damn. you're so stupid, you're french
it made me laugh: so much to say

6 _______

WOWZAH! [31 Mar 2003|03:03pm]
[ mood | BLOOD CLOT ]

WHOA GET THE FUCK OUT
BROOKE REALLY DOES HAVE FEELINGS
WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?
I DUNNO: BIRTH?
SO A BIG FUCK YOU TO EVERYONE
STOP:FORGETTING THAT/
THINKING "SHE'LL GET OVER IT"/
THAT I WON'T CARE
IM NOT LESS THAN ANYONE_
SO STOP MAKING ME FEEL THAT WAY


happy birthday gelatins smearing bruises on your chin.There's cake but no mouth, conch but no sound, glossy skeletons boyfriends but no friends.

bunched up & playing cards on your pillow [30 Mar 2003|08:43pm]
[ mood | im a hot rod ]

mammoth 2003 28_30th:

me: no make up; harsh goggle tan; battle wounds '03
i have a 5.4 (i measured) patch of tan/burnt skin on my forearm
showing the end of my glove to the start of my sweatshirt

lots a bad nightmares & not enough snow
"all in all": great ass trip_ but i have to wait until spring break to go again
way home_
the car broke down 5 times
& what should have been a 4.5/5 hour drive home
rapidly turned into 6/7+ hour drive home;
full of coasting & sitting on the side of the desert road waiting for the car to start & almost having to sleep at hickville inn for the night
so i played the_ delete people you don't talk to/know/remeber who's name/hate from your cell phone phone book

i have hella burns in random places & i didn't even know my birthday's in 4 days
& my boyfriends taking me out for dinner;
hes so cute i just want to love him!!!

25 _______

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